So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize