Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
