FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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