i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
