and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
