After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize