it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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