Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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