is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize