he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize