Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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