Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
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