all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize