Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
