I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
