went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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