my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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