let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
nutella sex= disaster
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
