Who wears a wallet chain?!
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
