dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
We had sex on a dog bed..
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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