I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
