why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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