just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
