Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
