There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
