im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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