I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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