He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
