Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
