Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
