So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
