dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
