So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
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