I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
