lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
