bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
