i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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