Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
