Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
