I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
