Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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