No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
