in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
These tits shall not be calmed
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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