Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
