There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
