And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
