It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
