I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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