Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
