Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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