Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
