Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Randomize
