you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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