I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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