I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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