Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
