u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Drunk is not a location!
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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