Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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