I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
There r osticjed everywhere
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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