there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
