Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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