I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
