Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
