it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
