I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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