if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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